If I were a stone, I would be: thrown violently at someone

If I were a tree, I would be a: family tree

If I were a bird, I would be: the double deuce

If I were a machine, I would be a: TS101

If I were a tool, I would be a: mitre saw

If I were a flower/plant, I would be a: factory plant

If I were a kind of weather, I would be: "weather" or not you live to see another day

If I were a mythical creature, I would be a: good rapper (because mythical creatures DON'T EXIST)

If I were a musical instrument, I would be a: vocal cord

If I were a color, I would be: lemon chiffon

If I were an emotion, I would be: empathy

If I were a vegetable, I would be a: asparagus

If I were a sound, I would be: the THX effect

If I were an element, I would be: ununoctium

If I were a car, I would be: a Scion

If I were a song, I would be: Sweet Caroline

If I were a movie, I would be: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

If I were a food, I would be: toast.

If I were a place, I would be: walked all over.

If I were a material, I would be: Spandex.

If I were a taste, I would be: Splenda.

If I were a scent, I would be: lemon-y fresh

If I were a word, I would be: monosyllabic

If I were an object, I would be a: Angel Food Cake

If I were a body part I would be: leg hair

If I were a facial expression I would be: on Jim Carrey

If I were a subject in school I would be: British Lit

If I were a cartoon character I would be: Johnny Bravo

If I were a shape I would be a: concave polygon

If I were a number I would be: the gravitational constant

If I were a month I would be: Microsoft History Month

If I were a day of the week I'd be: Thursday

If I were a time of day I'd be: time to eat

If I were a planet I would be: undiscovered

If I were a direction I would be: less confused about "right" and "left", I'm sure...

If I were a piece of furniture I'd be a: throw pillow

If I were a sin I would be: country music

If I were a historical figure I would be: EXACTLY THE SAME. Oh yes.

If I were a liquid I would be: corn starch polymer